O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
