he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
