i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
