I didn't shave. On purpose
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
