hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
