its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
