dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
