I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
