I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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