There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
