Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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