Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
