I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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