I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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