puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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