# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
