The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
ttyl tear gas
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
