we're chasing vodka with high fives
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
