My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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