you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
