i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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