What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
