Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
