i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
