It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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