went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
