I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
