I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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