she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
