So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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