Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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