I'm lost and stupid without you.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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