No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
