I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
