is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
should my penis look like a turkey
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
