the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
