Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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