i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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