This girl is more easily done than said...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Are my feet made of real feet?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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