Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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