I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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