Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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