Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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