Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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