pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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