I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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