Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
