Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
