So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
