Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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