I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
