I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
