My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
