I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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